THE IMAGINED DÉNOUEMENT: 1

By O. Tyrone Shulaise

LOS ANGELES, 3 NOVEMBER 2009

Editor's Note: In his series of comic essays, The Imagined Dénouement, Mr. Shulaise selects a book he has not read and - based solely on the appearance of its cover - presupposes what the final page would (or more accurately, should) be.

-121-

lunged toward him, Victor suffered a moment's hesitation. He'd never struck a woman in his life. "Am I that sort of man," he asked himself?

But in that instant he realized Malvena wasn't a woman. Not a true woman. She was some perverse, third sex. Some evil mistake of nature, intent on pulling Betty away from her youthful innocence - making her a dirty puppet in some sick carnival cavalcade, a plaything to satisfy her twisted desires.

Before he realized it, his fist connected with Malvena's jaw. In a flash, the she-devil lay sprawled on the ground, her mannish, be-gloved hand still clutching the riding crop. Was it his imagination, or did Satan himself utter the moaning chuckle he heard escape from her garish, painted mouth just before she hit the ground?

Betty ran to his side and buried her head in Victor's shoulder, half in fear, half in shame. "Oh Victor, you were right all along. I'm sorry!" She peeked briefly at the spot where her tormentor lay, and whispered, "Is she....Is she dead?"

"Her kind of evil never dies. Not completely. But she'll never bother you again."

"Oh, Victor. It was awful!"

"Come on, baby doll. Get dressed and let's get out of here," Victor said. And, glancing down at the unconscious creature at his feet, added...

"I never could abide the smell of rotten fruit."

-THE END-

Satan Was a Lesbian
By Fred Haley (Monica Roberts)
Illustrated by Doug Weaver Cover Art
Vintage Paperback
PEC Giant # G-1103 / Publishers Export Company, San Diego, CA 1966
At the time of this article's publication, a 1st Edition, 1st Printing is available for $850.00 at Biblio.com

O. Tyrone Shulaise is a writer and phrenologist based in Norwich, Vermont.

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